Why I Can’t Talk But I Can Sing

iStock 000005196844XSmall122 Why I Cant Talk But I Can SingIt’s been rough few weeks as speaking has quickly become so painful that I’ve had to quit talking altogether.  The weird thing is that I can still sing and connect completely through the registers. My ENT deducted that the nissen fundoplication (surgery for acid reflux that was burning my vocal cords) had failed and I would need to start from scratch and still maybe lose my voice forever.

Those of you who know me or who have read these posts know the first surgery nearly killed me, led to several other surgeries and that I have still not recovered from where this all started when I got my first diagnosis over a year ago. So when I was told I would have to start all over and might possibly lose my voice anyway, I was devastated.

drnasserisoffice2 225x300 Why I Cant Talk But I Can SingSo I took the next flight out to LA and moved up my appointment for a second opinion from Dr. Shawn Nasseri, the guy who trains the voice doctors at Harvard and the Mayo Clinic. Have to say, he’s the only doctor I’ve met with who’s exam room walls are covered with autographed album covers from the artists he’s helped including greats like Whitney Houston and Stevie Wonder to contemporaries like every American Idol to have ever toured. But that’s not the reason I wanted to see him. I went to Dr. Nasseri because he’s the best at what he does.  I also went because all of my work is voice related and I simply can’t imagine being without my voice or the joy of singing.

Now I finally have a real diagnosis; one that made such incredible sense given my symptoms and the unanswered questions posed to my other doctors. It appears what I have is a very uncommon condition called tension muscle dysphonia.  As I understand it, during one or more of my surgeries, the muscles below my vocal cords were scraped by the breathing tubes causing some damage. The muscles reaction to that injury is to increasing seize up with use. It’s similar to a seizure that causes a persons head to pinch to the side, but instead part my throat seizes up causing great and lasting pain through the right side of my neck and head.

The great news is that Dr. Nasseri said I have a beautiful set of vocal cords, no nodes, no damage of any kind and that I will eventually get my speaking voice back. Unfortunately I’m told it will take at least six months working with a special speech pathologist to retrain the muscles to relax.  Apparently the reason I can still sing is because my technique and training have trained these muscles what to do while singing, but speaking, not so much.  Weird.  So for awhile, I’m doing as little of either as possible and visiting my pharmacy often.

What I’ve learned from this experience is that I could’ve saved my self months of emotional distress if I had just bit the bullet and gone to a pro first. Athlete’s don’t see their family physician for a sports injury so why didn’t I do the equivalent for my voice?  Money, primarily.  But it was so worth the cost to get one right answer with a plan to fix it versus the months of pain, guesses and frustration I’ve gone through.

What kind of vocal issues have you had? Click the comments button at the top of this post and leave yours. I’ll be discussing other types of vocal damage and treatment in upcoming posts.  You can help make a difference by sharing your story.

 

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  • Coppelia

    Kim, I’m so glad you finally got an answer and some real medical help. I have to say, I have not had “serious” vocal problems, but since I started regular vocal coaching (SLS) I lose my voice less.

    I used to get “hoarse” from overusing my voice a LOT (I work in radio, which sometimes includes very noisy festivals and events), plus I sing every weekend in church. Now I can’t remember the last time I completely lost my voice, praise God!

    By the way, I was debating going HMO instead of PPO with our health insurance in 2010, since the medical bills have been piling up with PPO. But after reading your story, I know what I want to do. Having the choice to go get the best medical help is, in every sense, priceless, no matter what medical needs you face.

    • http://www.thevoiceclub.com voiceclubcoach

      I’m becoming a big proponent of internet research as a prerequisite to all of my doctors appts. Hard to weed out the good from the bad, but it gives me better questions to ask and always results in my being much more proactive about my health. I need to get the habit down even more – when your sick it’s hard to get motivated to do research!

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  • victoria

    my mother always loses her voice but she can still sing fine…her voice just *poof* goes away and shes left with a raw throat but yet she can still sing as though nothing had happened

    • http://www.thevoiceclub.com voiceclubcoach

      If she’s losing her voice, there’s a reason. She may be manipulating her cords for singing differently to sing than she does for speech which could explain why she can sing and not speak, but if she’s losing her voice more than rarely that’s cause for concern. Ask her if she’s open to seeing a good ENT and getting a medical opinion and let me know what happens.

  • brooke

    I have not had a speaking voice for 41 days; however, I can sing. I can sing as loud and vibrantly as I want to, but when I try to talk nothing comes out. On good days I can hoarsely whisper-ish. I at first went to an after-hours place that said I just had laryngitis. After about 20 something days I went to an ENT. He put the tube through my nose and down my throat and made me talk and sing. He said there was no physical problems that he could see other than a little irritation that should not be significant enough to cause any voice loss. He said the loss may be due to acid reflux, and if I cannot talk after 2 weeks on acid reflux pills he is going to send me to a voice specialist. The two weeks ends in 2 days, and I have not missed a single pill and I also quit drinking lemonade (my favorite drink since I don’t drink carbonation or caffine). Maybe the specialist can figure things out for me. But I did want to ask you that if the breathing tube didn’t damage anything during your surgery would the acid reflux surgery originally have fixed your voice complications?

    • http://www.thevoiceclub.com voiceclubcoach

      Brooke; I so feel for you. I’ve been there. After my surgery many specialists confirmed that not only should I not have had the surgery but that it is not even considered effective. In fact, as promised, almost 2yrs to the date, the sutures came undone and my acid reflux has returned in full force. I cannot explain it, but you may understand this, what it’s like to struggle to talk when you can sing. It’s the weirdest thing. I am not a doctor and can only relay my experience and the advice I was given after the fact (which was way more helpful that the advice I got before the surgery). I knew, and you probably do too, that whispering can be really damaging to the voice. Yet it’s all I could seem to do. It was such an incredible mental battle, but the way I got back to speaking (in addition to ordered vocal rest) was to rely heavily on my technique exercises to restrengthen my voice and work backwards from singing to speech. It was a frustratingly long process but it worked. And I have NO doubt that if I had not studied the technique I teach it would have been a much longer road and I believe I would’ve never sung publicly again. I really would like to help you through this process. I’ve send you an email with details. My best advice is to rest as required and rely heavily on solid technique to take baby steps back to total vocal health. I am still mystified that I can sing at the level I can after it all. If I can, so can you.

  • http://shadowofmyformerselfonthewall.tumblr.com Maxie

    I have severe social anxiety and four days ago, I literally forgot how to speak. I haven’t remembered yet, either. I don’t think I can bring it back on my own. I’m completely silent, except I can laugh and cry and all that, but my voice is locked away somewhere. I know you meant physical speech problems, but I thought I’d share my psychological one anyway.

    • http://www.thevoiceclub.com voiceclubcoach

      It’s very much the same process, Maxie. And I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. There are things that block what we know and it can be terrifying, I know. I hope you’re finding a caring, qualified professional to help you start to unlock your voice. The brain is a crazy thing and it can be so lonely when you feel like your own body has turned against you. You are so in my prayers. Let us know how it’s going.