Will I Sing Again in 2010?

Not even weeks without food could make hospital jello taste better

So here’s the cliff notes version of my last year:

Trip to see a pro singers specialist in Beverly Hill

I went to the ENT with a bruised eardrum from a gig and was told acid reflux was about to burn my vocal cords at the stake (fall ’08).

After all other treatments failed, I had a surgery for acid reflux last December. My stomach burst three days later.

They woke me in the hospital so my husband could say goodbye before I underwent emergency surgery. I spent most of the month in the hospital.

My favorite ride at Disneyland, where my daughter sang

More looks at my vocal cords

The year included a total of four surgeries, an eight inch in scar opened twice and 10 laporascopic holes to try to repair the damage.

When I started all of this I had no trouble singing. Now, on top of my other medical issues, I have a constant gravel in my voice and pain in my throat that is made worse by speech or singing.

After a year of ongoing recovery, barely walking or talking let a lone singing for much of the year and losing my job as a producer/talent and, as a result, our home….just before Christmas 2009 they told me maybe it’s not acid reflux after all and maybe we should start over again with the ENT.

My mom & I at the Mayo Clinic in Phoenix

I don’t mean to be all gripey, but it’s been a long year. It’s been doable in small doses, but then came Christmas and the realization that I haven’t sang O Holy Night for two years now. Sound trite, I suppose, but I’m a singer. It’s the one thing I can (or could) physically do that brings me incredible joy. And for most of my life I’ve had the honor of singing O Holy Night at the Christmas Eve services at my church.

Christmas Eve rehearsal 2007

Now I love rock and the blues and there’s nothing like belting out a good Ella tune, but O Holy Night is in a class of it’s own. It mixes an endless possibility of opportunities for vocal expression with a powerful, timeless message that I’m personally passionate about. I sat and cried like a stupid baby when they sang it at the Christmas Eve service this year. Not because I didn’t get to sing it, but because I so desperately miss singing. I miss the beauty of the notes flowing together and the depth of dynamics that weave in and out to tell a story. I miss being a living part of that. I miss it desperately.

My Sweet Family

I’m in the middle of six more months of vocal rest…though I’m not even sure why at this point. The one thing everyone agrees on is that my vocal cords are strong and healthy; not at all burned from any acid reflux or the truckload of drugs I’ve been on this year. But after one of my surgeries I developed a constant pain that starts just below my vocal cords and runs down my throat. For awhile I couldn’t talk at all. So even though I can technically sing, sneaking out anymore than a few lines is still too painful. No one knows why or if/when it will go away and enable me to sing freely again.

My year wasn’t all bad though. I’ve soaked in the time with my kids and my wonderful husband. I’ve discovered cooking and, believe it or not, crochet! I’ve lived unashamedly and vicariously through my students whom I adore and I have bathed in the beauty of song I suppose like a blind person must soak in each little sound.

Before

After

So I’m thankful for my year. Thankful to have lost weight (can’t ever complain about that!) and to have been surrounded by lots of loving, incredible people.

The doctors aren’t saying what my medical future holds. There are only plans for more medical tests, more medication and maybe more surgery in the new year. And hopefully some answers.

But even if it kills me…I’m going to sing in 2010. God only knows how, but I will.

Top 10 Ways to Care for Your Singing Voice

We’ve all seen them.  The new artists that start out so promising.  You hear the buzz.  You wait for them to tour in your area.  You go to see the show and then reality sets in; they don’t sound at all like you expected them to.  In fact, sometimes they’re just… really, really bad.  (I’m not naming any names, Kelly Clarkson.)

The demands of touring can wreak havoc on a singer, especially on their first major tour when they don’t yet know just how much their bad habits are going to work against their voice.   But the problems you hear in those live performances are just an exaggeration of the basic problems all singers face.  Here are the top 10 ways to avoid them:

10.  Get Some Rest Already

Physical fatigue has a really bad effect on the voice.  That’s what you’re hearing a lot of from singers on the road.  Sure you have to work with the situation you’re in but understanding just how important adequate rest is to performing your best might just make you turn in a bit earlier.  Nighty night.

9.  Watch Those Burritos

Spicy, greasy, milky or heavy foods (farewell Mr. Cheesecake; I knew you well) are big no-no’s when you’ve got a performance coming up.  Depending how sensitive your body is to what you eat you might want to avoid these foods several days before a performance.  The best advice;  eat a healthy, well balanced diet all the time.  For those rolling your eyes right now; back off the junk food before you sing.  It helps.  It really does.

8.  Make H20 Your Favorite Element

Your vocal cords are teeny tiny, slippery little suckers.  They vibrate so fast during speech (or singing) that it wasn’t even until the last year or so before they developed a camera that could slow down enough to see it.  But without adequate hydration, they can’t perform those incredible rolling waves of vibration nearly as well.  Keep them slippery.  Drink 8-10 glasses of water a day.  Not in the habit of drinking that much?  Don’t bet on that bottle of spring water during the show to cut it.  It can take a week or longer to rehydrate your body.  We’ll wait while you go get a glass.

7.  Get in Shape

Even if you don’t have to serve as your own backup dancer, the better shape you’re in, the more energy you have (and give) in your performance.  And and that little edge could mean turning those people who would rather play on their iPhones than really listen to you into loyal fans instead.

6. Don’t Rock ’till You See the Doc

When was the last time you saw an Ear, Nose and Throat doc.  Really?  It’s time.  Singers of all levels should make this an annual event to head off dangerous damage you might not see coming down the pike like acid reflux or signs that your technique might be slipping and physically compromising your voice.

5. Let’s Clear the Air

Smoke=bad.  It’s not even o.k. if you just inhale, Mr. Clinton.  If you tend to sing in smokey venues, start booking more outdoor ones or places that have a no smoking rule for the room where performances take place (some casino’s do this).  If you plan on singing for awhile you’ll be adding years to your voice.

4. Don’t Play with Pain

If you have pain while singing or after a show, somethings amiss in singersville.  See this article to find out if this means you.  Pain is not a part of being a singer, regardless of what style you sing.  Danger, Will Robinson.  Danger.

3. Save it for the Show

I’m not a big fan of the ‘I don’t sing the day of a performance’ mantra.  Sure, if you’re a mega star bombarded by hundreds of crazed screaming fans, maybe you want to keep it on the down low, but the basic principle is this:  Don’t be screaming or talking excessively when you have a demanding show coming up.  It’s damaging at worst, and taking from what you can do on stage at best.

2. Step Up Your Style

Working with a good vocal styling coach can help you develop a bag of styling tricks that are useful way beyond impressing that guy/girl that finally made it to hear you sing.  They allow you options at different difficulties to choose from so if you find yourself having an off night you can still thrill your audience while protecting your voice.  And you do want to thrill them, don’t you?

1. Teacher Knows Best

A qualified vocal technique instructor who understands how the anatomy of your voice works and can assess how your lifestyle and tendencies affect your vocal potential.  Regular vocal lessons should not only provide continuing growth in your skill level, they should also teach you how to best care for your voice in your specific situation and they provide a trusted resource to ask questions as they arise.  Find a good instructor (I recommend Speech Level Singing) and get started!

Got another tip to add?  Think I’m full of it?  Leave a comment at the top of this post.

Why I Can't Talk But I Can Sing

iStock_000005196844XSmallIt’s been rough few weeks as speaking has quickly become so painful that I’ve had to quit talking altogether.  The weird thing is that I can still sing and connect completely through the registers.  Jeffery Skouson, an associate in SLS (speech level singing) and a master level instructor who deals with a lot of different vocal damage issues was stumped too.  My ENT deducted that the nissen fundoplication (surgery for acid reflux that was burning my vocal cords) had failed and I would need to start from scratch and still maybe lose my voice forever.

Those of you who know me or who have read these posts know the first surgery nearly killed me, led to several other surgeries and that I have still not recovered from where this all started when I got my first diagnosis over a year ago. So when I was told I would have to start all over and might possibly lose my voice anyway, I was devastated.

drnasserisofficeSo I took the next flight out to LA and moved up my appointment for a second opinion from Dr. Shawn Nasseri, the guy who trains the voice doctors at Harvard and the Mayo Clinic. Have to say, he’s the only doctor I’ve met with who’s exam room walls are covered with autographed album covers from the artists he’s helped including greats like Whitney Houston and Stevie Wonder to contemporaries like every American Idol to have ever toured. But that’s not the reason I wanted to see him. I went to Dr. Nasseri because he’s the best at what he does.  I also went because all of my work is voice related and I simply can’t imagine being without my voice or the joy of singing.

Now I finally have a real diagnosis; one that made such incredible sense given my symptoms and the unanswered questions posed to my other doctors. It appears what I have is a very uncommon condition called tension muscle dysphonia.  As I understand it, during one or more of my surgeries, the muscles below my vocal cords were scraped by the breathing tubes causing some damage. The muscles reaction to that injury is to increasing seize up with use. It’s similar to a seizure that causes a persons head to pinch to the side, but instead part my throat seizes up causing great and lasting pain through the right side of my neck and head.

The great news is that Dr. Nasseri said I have a beautiful set of vocal cords, no nodes, no damage of any kind and that I will eventually get my speaking voice back. Unfortunately I’m told it will take at least six months working with a special speech pathologist to retrain the muscles to relax.  Apparently the reason I can still sing is because my technique and training have trained these muscles what to do while singing, but speaking, not so much.  Weird.  So for awhile, I’m doing as little of either as possible and visiting my pharmacy often.

What I’ve learned from this experience is that I could’ve saved my self months of emotional distress if I had just bit the bullet and gone to a pro first. Athlete’s don’t see their family physician for a sports injury so why didn’t I do the equivalent for my voice?  Money, primarily.  But it was so worth the cost to get one right answer with a plan to fix it versus the months of pain, guesses and frustration I’ve gone through.

What kind of vocal issues have you had? Click the comments button at the top of this post and leave yours. I’ll be discussing other types of vocal damage and treatment in upcoming posts.  You can help make a difference by sharing your story.